Dark Memories
by Ryzaria
Summary: Follow Mewtwo as his life gets weirder and weirder...
1. Default Chapter

Dark Memories  
  
Please Note-I don't own every character in this. In fact I don't any!  
  
Other Game Characters Crossovers due to my random randomania...that's not a word is it?  
  
Oh well...but I still think it'll be a good fic, you know, because-  
  
Tim the Enchanter-GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Army-YES, GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Ehehehe...on with the fic!  
  
Chapter 1-Beginnings  
  
This chapter is rated R for Ridiculously Bad.  
  
- - -  
  
"Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba da na!"  
  
Mewtwo was humming to himself as he walked through to the Final Destination. This was his first chance to prove himself against Master Hand. Most others had had the opportunity, but failed. No one ever explained why, which confused him. 'Ah well...' he thought as he stepped onto the platform.  
  
There was silence.  
  
And more silence.  
  
And yet more silence.  
  
And then laughter.  
  
Maniacal laughter filled the stage as Master Hand leapt up onto the stage, slamming down with a dramatic flourish. Mewtwo grinned, and gave a round of applause. "Ehehehehe...you ready Mewtwo?" Master Hand asked cockily.  
  
Mewtwo grinned. "Ready as I'll ever be!"  
  
And the battle began.  
  
The poor sound effect guy started humming the Final Destination Theme tune.  
  
=+#+=+#+=  
  
"STEP UP EVERYONE!!! Place your bets now! Will Mewtwo beat Master Hand, Crazy Hand, or BOTH, or NEITHER?" Yoshi yelled.  
  
There was a cry of "NEITHER!" from everyone except the boy at the back, who just smiled. "I'll bet 200 Smash Coins on Mewtwo beating them both," he said. There was a murmur from the crowd.  
  
"Now, are you sure? I mean, this IS Mewtwo."  
  
"Yes, Mewtwo, someone with incredible psychic powers and an evil laugh to rival Ganondorf's!"  
  
At this there was a cry of "HEY!!! THAT'S A LIE!!!" while there were yet more murmurs, followed by changing of bets.  
  
Ness grinned.  
  
=+#+=+#+=  
  
Master Hand immediately flew into a walking position, running at Mewtwo, who squealed before Teleporting to the other side of the arena. "Hey! Stop running!" Master Hand yelled. Mewtwo started charging up a Shadow Ball, rolling away as Master Hand was about to flatten him. As he finished charging, he suddenly felt a sharp slap round the face and went flying, as Master Hand connected with a powerful blow.  
  
As Mewtwo fell, he let the Shadow Ball loose which went zigzagging across the stage and hitting Master Hand, briefly stunning him. Mewtwo grinned and ran, whacking Master Hand with his long, powerful tail. "AH!!! Stop...repeating...the same moves! AH!!! CRAZY HAND!!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW!!!"  
  
At this, another cackle rang up through the stage, and Crazy Hand appeared, flailing wildly, smashing up half the stage. The technicians groaned, while the sound-effects guy started humming more forcefully. Mewtwo squeaked. "That's not fair!"  
  
"What, you've not tried Event Match 50 yet? Ooh, boy! IT'S MUTTON CHOPS!!!" Crazy Hand yelled, before taking another massive fit. Mewtwo screamed in a high-pitched tone, running under Master Hand.  
  
"Hey, get out of there!"  
  
Mewtwo focused all of his energy into his hands, and pushed upwards, sending psychic bolts through Master Hand, who yelled "MORE PAIN!!! CRAZY HAND, HELP!!!"  
  
Crazy Hand ran towards Mewtwo, dropping bombs on his head. Mewtwo yelled as each bomb caused more and more damage. Eventually, he got the radical idea of moving away. As he did so, he heard a yell of "AH!!! CRAZY HAND, YOU IDIOT!!! YOU JUST DROPPED A BOMB ON ME!!!"  
  
This was followed by a cry of "CHICKEN DRUMSTICKS!!!" followed by the sounds of another fit. Mewtwo grinned and charged up another Shadow Ball. As he finished charging, he saw Master Hand beating into Crazy Hand.  
  
He grinned. "HEY, MASTER HAND!!!" Master Hand turned round. Mewtwo's grin widened more so. "EAT SHADOW BALL!!!" before letting it loose.  
  
Crazy Hand yelled, "IT TASTES LIKE ALLIGATOR!!!" as it went flying towards his brother. As it hit Master Hand, he convulsed wildly, before collapsing and disappearing. "Ooh...you killed him. I'll have to hurt you now!" Crazy Hand added to his random yell. He suddenly went into a spider stance and crawled towards Mewtwo.  
  
"EEP!!!" Mewtwo yelled, before jumping over. As he turned round, he saw Crazy Hand in a gun-stance, charging up some shots. Mewtwo ducked, hearing the bullets whistling past his head.  
  
"Hey, stop dodging my HAMBURGER MINI-GUN!!! EEEEEUUURGH!!!" Crazy Hand yelled, before taking another fit. Mewtwo sighed. "Sometimes it's just too easy," he said. "But it would be easier with some GODDAMN ITEMS!!!"  
  
As if by magic, a Super Scope appeared. "Ooh, handy," Mewtwo noted, before picking up and giving it a good charge. Crazy Hand was already wounded from his beating by Master Hand, and was surprised when he saw a big ball of light headed towards him.  
  
"Ooh...shiny..."  
  
...  
  
KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!  
  
...  
  
"Ooh...painful," Mewtwo noted.  
  
"BOILED RABBIT LIVERS!!!" Crazy Hand screamed, before collapsing with a sigh of "Tuna...tuna kebab..."  
  
Mewtwo grinned. "Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba da na! I have WON!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
=+#+=+#+=  
  
"What, he won? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHY DIDN'T I CHANGE MY BET?"  
  
"Because you're a moron Pichu. And you're too young to bet."  
  
"Bah."  
  
Everyone was giving Mewtwo a hearty slap on the back, except for two of them.  
  
Pichu was one, being incredibly annoyed that he just gave up 10 Smash Coins.  
  
The other...  
  
Was...  
  
*dramatic suspense*  
  
...  
  
Army-GET ON WITH IT!!!  
  
...GANONDORF!!!  
  
He was skulking at the back of the room, looking evilly at Mewtwo. Not for any reason, it's just what he did best. As Mewtwo floated around with a big grin on his face, Ganon called, "HEY MEWTWO!!!" as so nobody else could hear him.  
  
Surprisingly they didn't. Mewtwo turned and saw Ganon standing there, looking evilly at him. "Err...hi?"  
  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE TO THE DEATH!!! OR JUST A BATTLE!!! WHAT DO YOU SAY?" he whispered.  
  
Mewtwo paused. He could have sworn that Ganon's voice just unclogged his ears permanently. "Err...ok. Which stage?"  
  
"HYRULE TEMPLE!!! YOU READY F00?"  
  
"Err...why do you shout all the time?"  
  
"I'M NOT SHOUTING!!!"  
  
"Of course you aren't...ok, I'll be there after I get worshipped somemore."  
  
"OK!!! BE THERE!!! OR ELSE!!!"  
  
"You really have problems." Mewtwo said as he walked away.  
  
=+#+=+#+=  
  
Thus endeth yon first chapter. Stay tuned for Chapter 2, which will have:  
  
MORE GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE!!!  
  
MORE NUDITY!!!  
  
MORE HAMBURGER MINI-GUNS!!!  
  
AND MORE STUPID POINTLESS WEIRDNESS!!!  
  
So read today! 


	2. GANONDORF AND STUFF!

Dark Memories  
  
Please Note-I don't own every character in this. In fact I don't any!  
  
Other Game Characters Crossovers due to my random randomania...that's not a word is it?  
  
Oh well...but I still think it'll be a good fic, you know, because-  
  
Tim the Enchanter-GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Army-YES, GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Ehehehe...on with the fic!  
  
Chapter 2-GANONDORF AND STUFF!!!  
  
This chapter is rated R for Retarded.  
  
- - -  
  
"Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba da na!" Mewtwo hummed once more as he headed for Hyrule Temple to face Ganondorf. He didn't actually know why he had been challenged, but he had to fight...for his right...to...err...what were the words again? Something to do with having fun...  
  
Mewtwo was still wondering this as he went into the stage. Ganondorf was already there. "Are you ready?" he yelled.  
  
"Wait...I can't hear you. Could you whisper it?" Mewtwo asked.  
  
"Ok...ARE YOU READY?" he whispered.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"OK!!!"  
  
The sound-effects guy started humming the tune. However, someone had held down the R-Button, so he had to hum the Fire Emblem tune. Poor man.  
  
=+#+=+#+=  
  
"Ok, let's start the betting!" Yoshi yelled. "We have 2-1 odds on Mewtwo! 4- 1 odds on Ganondorf! BIG BUCKS!!! WOO-HOO!!!"  
  
"Why do we bet on matches?" yelled Samus.  
  
"Because we never have anything to do!" came the reply from Capt. Falcon.  
  
Everyone started yelling "GANONDORF!!!" except Pichu who yelled "MEWTWO!!!"  
  
Pikachu shaked his head. "Ah Pichu, you are so young and naïve."  
  
"I know. It's just that Mewtwo just beat Crazy Hand and Master Hand!"  
  
"So? Your point?"  
  
There was a pause, followed by "None really."  
  
"Ok. GANONDORF TO WIN!!!"  
  
=+#+=+#+=  
  
"RARGH!!! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!" Ganon yelled before jumping gracefully onto the platform. Or, it would have been graceful if not for the fact that Ganon wouldn't know the word if it whacked him gracefully across the face. So instead, he crumpled at the edge and had to pull himself up. How embarrassing.  
  
Mewtwo was in hysterics. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN JUMP UP A PLATFORM!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
Ganon snarled. "EAT WIZARD KICK!!!"  
  
Then, for no reason at all, Crazy Hand appeared and yelled "MEATY GOODNESS!!!" before disappearing again.  
  
"Weird..." Mewtwo noted before jumping out of the way.  
  
Ganon hit the wall, bounced off it and landed on his ass. "OWCHIE!!!" Ganon yelled, trying to take the pain. He didn't.  
  
Mewtwo grinned and ran up to him, shooting psychic power through his hands into Ganon, who went flying into another wall. "THE PAIN!!!" he yelled, before standing up again. His face mutated all of a sudden, and Mewtwo saw he was a-  
  
"VAMPIRE!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Mewtwo screeched before running.  
  
Ganon pursued yelling "NEED MEWTWO BLOOD!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
At that point something weird happened that put the author's randomania to light.  
  
Suddenly someone dropped from the sky and started pummelling Ganon. He recoiled and tried to attack, but all that blood went straight to his hips, making it hard to move. The person took out a steak and WHAM!!!  
  
Ganon looked down and saw a steak through his heart. "It's a WOODEN STAKE!!! Not a meat STEAK!!!"  
  
"Woopsie!" the person said, before taking the steak out and using a stake instead. Ganon screamed, and died in the most dramatic way possible. By jumping off.  
  
"Who...who are you?" Mewtwo asked.  
  
The person turned round. "I am Zelda. The Vampire Slayer."  
  
"Oh...no..."  
  
=+#+=+#+=  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" yelled everyone in unison as Ganon died, except Pichu, who was now a very rich Pokemon.  
  
=+#+=+#+=  
  
Thus endeth Chapter Two. Stay tuned for:  
  
MORE STUPID BUFFY THINGYS!!!  
  
MORE MEATY GOODNESS!!! MORE VIOLENCE!!!  
  
AND MORE PICHU TAKING PEOPLE'S MONEY!!!  
  
Pichu-I like this fic!  
  
So read today! 


	3. Doo, doo doo doo

Crazy Hand's Fact of the Day: If you are being shot at, then dodge behind the STRAWBERRY HONEYCOMBS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
...k  
  
Chapter 3-Doo, doo doo doo...  
  
This Chapter is Rated R for RADIOACTIVE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
"Wait...did you say Zelda...the Vampire Slayer?"  
  
Mewtwo was still slightly in shock after being saved by a princess of Hyrule. And also that she was actually a Buffy ripoff.  
  
"That is correct. It isn't safe here, we need to go somewhere else."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Away, from...HIM!!!"  
  
Zelda pointed dramatically to a part of Hyrule Temple. A man with long flowing grey hair and a leather jacket was standing in the middle of a fire.  
  
"The stage is on fire, isn't it."  
  
"Yup."  
  
The man grinned, before walking through the fire, and disappearing.  
  
"...That was cool!" Mewtwo exclaimed.  
  
- - -  
  
"LIKE OMG!!! HYRULE TEMPLE IS ON T3H FIREZ0RZ!!!"  
  
"Everyone, remain calm. It's probably just some...burnt toast, is all!" Master Hand yelled, while running as fast as his fingers could carry him to the exit.  
  
"NO!!! IT'S NOT GETTING MY MONEY!!!" Pichu yelled, before Thundering everyone. This had an incredibly important effect on the story, but the author is too lazy to type what it is.  
  
Pichu ran out with his lovely money, and doesn't feature in our story for a while now.  
  
When Yoshi woke up, he said "NO!!! Pichu woke up before I could get the money back!"  
  
"Erm...I think Mewtwo's still in there."  
  
"Uh oh..."  
  
- - -  
  
Mewtwo actually had got out with Zelda, and they were currently trying to run to the corridor.  
  
"Uh oh...it's started."  
  
"What has?" Mewtwo asked. "I've had a weird enough day as it is, and I WANT TO KNOW!!!"  
  
Zelda turned to him and nodded. "You should know."  
  
This is what she said. Except far less exciting.  
  
- - -  
  
Giga Bowser was probably the biggest menace ever to SSBM Land ever. However, some brave warriors locked it away for one thousand years. This is 999.85 Years later.  
  
Now, Giga B. is seeking an alliance with none other than...  
  
THE AUTHOR!!!  
  
That's why all the weird stuff is happening.  
  
- - -  
  
As Zelda finished telling the story, Mewtwo had already given up the will to live and was currently about to stand up and find the guy from Hyrule Temple, just to make it quick and painless.  
  
"Fascinating," Mewtwo said, stifling a yawn.  
  
"Well, c'mon, let's go."  
  
As they left however, the trail was suddenly blocked by a massive mob. The leader stepped forward and spoke.  
  
"We are the Knights who say...PIKACHU!!!"  
  
"NO!!! NOT THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY PIKACHU!!!"  
  
"The same..."  
  
"I HAVE THE PERFECT COUNTER!!!" Mewtwo exclaimed. "Jiggly. Puff."  
  
As if by magic, all the knights dropped dead. Either that or they were mightily stoned.  
  
"Well, let's continue."  
  
Mewtwo sighed. "You realize this chapter sucks, right?"  
  
- - -  
  
"Well well...isn't this interesting?"  
  
The author looked over the screen and grinned. The power of the l33t would soon be his.  
  
However, that stupid Zelda the Vampire Layer...or something like that...  
  
"Bah...I'm going to send my most incompetent minions to get their asses kicked, then complain afterwards and kill them!"  
  
- - -  
  
Thus endeth Chapter 3. In Chapter 4, you can look forward to:  
  
HAMBURGERS OF DEATH!!! THAT EVIL PLAN OF THE AUTHOR!!! PIKACHU!!!  
  
Everyone-AH!!! NO MORE!!!  
  
Hahaha! Pika, pikachu!  
  
Everyone-*heads explode*  
  
Heh heh heh... 


End file.
